07.01.07
gays cause flooding: official!
I’d like to apologise to the good (but somewhat damp) people of the north of England; it would appear that I’m responsible for the floods which have recently driven many of you from your homes.
That’s according to senior bishops in the Church of England, who have decided that the recent inclement weather is a sign of God’s anger at Britain’s “pro-gay” laws, and our ongoing tolerance of things like DECADENCE and SODOMY, which presumably go hand in hand because decent lubricant doesn’t come cheap, you know.
The obvious response to this is to point out that this isn’t so much a consequence of God’s wrath as a consequence of over-building on flood plains with inadequate drainage. However, the obvious response has already been done as eloquently and angrily as anyone could hope by the wonderful Ministry of Truth.
Instead, I’ll opt for the even more obvious. These floods happened in the week of the enormous London Pride gay event… But at the other end of the country, in towns like Sheffield. You know, the kind of towns that gay people leave as soon as fucking possible so they can get to London, where the wrath of God manifested itself in the form of scattered showers that probably ruined a few drag queens’ makeup.
Tell you what, religious types; your God may be all-powerful, but he fucking well flunked Geography.
nic said,
July 1, 2007 at 9:39 pm
You beat me to it it. I think it’s important that these comments are shared with as wide an audience as possible. I am amazed that the Telegraph article I read on it actually featured no counterpoint from a) meterologists, b) secularists or c) Stonewall. Outrageous.
Tom said,
July 4, 2007 at 6:14 pm
My sister lives in York. Her uni music department is flooded. I asked her if she blamed the gays and she said: “Tom, why do you only phone me when you’re drunk?”
Laura Quin said,
July 12, 2007 at 8:36 pm
As you are no doubt aware: San Francisco’s gay community is the cause of earthquakes in California. You should be ashamed of yourself for all the distress you have caused
The Bishop dude sounds scarily like this lot of dangerous fruitloops .
From where I’m standing it seems that these people are getting no sex so have to take such an obsessive interest in other folks’ sex lives.
Steve said,
July 19, 2007 at 8:25 pm
Hmm.. some bishops sure know how to surprise me again and again with their strange conclusions. …
Keith Andrew said,
July 22, 2007 at 12:47 am
I’m conducting my own experiment to test this one out: I’m sleeping with men in typically dry areas, and then measuring any moisture immediately afterwards.
Watch it.
link said,
October 30, 2007 at 1:10 pm
hi…
wonderful post…